When something good happens to you, you try to keep holding your breath and make sure you’re not celebrating too much or too soon.
You brace yourself for what’s coming next because you know this drill all too well. You know that there is always something bad that’s gonna happen in the midst of the celebration… It’s as if life keeps tabs on you and you can’t have more than a day’s worth of euphoria because somewhere along those good and right lines beckon troubles.
Somewhere in your bubble of happiness, a dark cloud of bad news is lurking around, waiting for you to fall right off your guard and into the dismal place called complacency going further down the hole of oblivion before it sneaks up on you and gets you running through the tunnel of fear–again.
You play this so often that you crafted a name for it–your favorite hide-and-seek game.
You hide behind your metaphors, run around the bush when someone asks how you’re doing, escape to the familiar comfort of your old habits you thought you still need, try to keep your cool, act like you don’t care, pretend everything’s fine until you’ve convinced yourself that you are safely hidden from your fears and that you don’t really feel anything anymore. Your body numbs itself as a defense against pain. Yes, cover up the pain with those photos showing your big fat shiny smile. But don’t beam too much… some people would suspect there is something shady behind it.
And now, life has finally caught up on you and here you are again playing Peek-a-Boo, but not the kind that you want to giggle over when you hear the words, “I. SEE. YOU.”
Because when reality enters the room, punches you in the gut and glares at you as if to say, “Haven’t you learned your lesson yet?”… That’s when you scream inside and with shaky hands, fidget on the keyboard and inflict the world with your story nobody really cares about just so you can feed your selfish desire to get attention.